Why Swedish women are quitting work
Sweden is globally recognized for its advocacy of gender equality, so why are young women embracing a social media trend that celebrates leaving the workforce behind?
Vilma Larsson, 25, has worked in various jobs, including at a grocery store, a care home, and a factory. But a year ago, she quit her job to become a stay-at-home girlfriend, and she says it’s been the happiest time of her life.
“My life is softer. I’m not struggling. I’m not stressed,” she shares.
Her boyfriend, who works remotely in finance, spends his days on his laptop while she enjoys activities like going to the gym, having coffee, or cooking. Both from small towns in central Sweden, the couple now travels frequently, with plans to spend the winter in Cyprus.
“Every month, he gives me a salary from the money he earns. But if I need more, I ask him. If I need less, I just save the rest,” explains Larsson.
She shares her lifestyle on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, where she has gained 11,000 followers. Some of her posts have received nearly 400,000 likes, though she doesn’t earn money from her content.
Larsson uses hashtags like “hemmaflickvän” (stay-at-home girlfriend) and “hemmafru” (housewife), describing herself as a “soft girl,” a label that represents a gentler, more feminine approach to life, rather than prioritizing career ambitions.
The soft girl trend, which has been a microtrend on social media since the late 2010s, has recently gained popularity in Sweden. Given the country’s history of policies supporting dual-income households, this shift has been met with both surprise and controversy.
Ungdomsbarometern, Sweden’s largest annual survey of young people, highlighted the trend a year ago, noting its prominence among 15 to 24-year-olds who predicted it would be a key trend in 2024. A follow-up survey this August showed that even younger girls, aged 7 to 14, are increasingly identifying with the soft girl lifestyle, with 14% saying they embraced it.
“It’s about moving away from the ‘girl boss’ ideal, which has placed high demands on women to succeed in every area of life,” explains Johanna Göransson, a researcher at Ungdomsbarometern.
There is no official data on the number of young “soft girls” quitting work altogether and living off their partners like Ms Larsson, and Ms Göransson says it is likely to be a small proportion.
But it’s nevertheless become a major talking point in Sweden, from opinion pieces in broadsheet newspapers, to panel discussions at Almedalen – a huge annual cross-party political event – and on Swedish public service television.
Gudrun Schyman – the co-founder and former leader of Sweden’s feminist party Feministiskt initiativ – says she’s taken part in recent debates on the issue. She believes women living off their partners wealth is “very dangerous”, and “a step backwards” for gender equality.
Ms Schyman argues that young Swedes have been influenced by the country’s right-wing coalition government, which collaborates with the nationalist Sweden Democrats party, as well as the “broader development” of populism in Europe and the United States.
She also thinks there’s a lack of awareness about life in Sweden before it embraced policies designed to promote gender equality, such as heavily subsidised childcare and shared parental leave. “Young women today don’t carry the history of how women had to fight for their rights – the right to work, the right to have a salary, and the right to economic independence.”
At the other end of the political spectrum, the Sweden Democrats party has been positive towards the soft girls trend.
“I think that people should get to decide over their own life,” says Denice Westerberg, national spokesperson for the party’s youth wing. “And if you have that economic possibility to do that [live off a partner] then good for you.
“We still live in a country with all the opportunities to have a career. We still have all the rights, but we have the right to choose to live more traditionally.”
Aside from ideological debates, discussions have focussed on the social and cultural factors that could be influencing young women to quit work – or at least aspire to a softer lifestyle.
Sweden has a reputation for work life balance – most employees get six-weeks holiday a year, and less than 1% work more than 50 hours a week.
Still, Ungdomsbaromatern’s research suggests rising stress levels amongst young people, and Ms Göransson believes soft girls trend may be an extension of recent global work trends such as “quiet quitting”, which encourages employees not to overextend themselves.
Meanwhile, the Generation Z age group (the cohort born between 1997 and 2012) are making, and being influenced by, social media content that celebrates leisure time rather than career goals.
“Work doesn’t really feature that much if you look at lifestyle content on social media today, it’s much more about exercise and wellness,” explains Ms Göransson. “And if that’s the picture young people have of what a normal life looks like, then, of course, maybe you’re not so excited about spending eight hours in an office a day.”
But perhaps the biggest talking point is whether the trend is a response to the limitations of Sweden’s pioneering gender equality policies.
Alongside Slovenia, Sweden has the highest proportion of working mothers in Europe, yet government statistics suggest women in heterosexual couples still do a larger share of housework and childcare than men.
They also take 70% of state-funded parental leave, and are more likely to go on sick leave for stress. Meanwhile, although the income gap between men and women remains lower than the EU average of 12.7%, it has stalled at around 10% since 2019.
Ms Larsson – who wants to have children in the future – says her decision to become a stay-at-home girlfriend is partly due to watching older women struggle to juggle a career and homelife.
“I think a lot of women feel burned out from their work,” she says. “And I just think of my mother and her mother, my grandma, and my sister, everyone. They’re always so stressed.”
At Sweden’s state-funded Gender Equality Agency, Peter Wickström, head of the department for policy analysis and monitoring, also believes the soft girl trend can be viewed as a “rational reaction” to the perceived “demands” experienced by young women.
Shoka Åhrman, an economist at one of Sweden’s largest pension funds, SPP, says she does not believe enough Swedish girlfriends or wives will quit work for it to have an impact on the country’s economy.
However, she is working to raise awareness amongst Swedish women that leaving the labour force (as well as going part time) could impact their personal finances, from savings and pensions, to salary levels if they return to work.
Ms Åhrman hopes the current soft girl debates will serve as a wake-up call to both politicians and businesses alike that there is still work to be done to address ongoing structural inequalities in Sweden.
“I think the source of it, which is mental health issues, burnouts and all that, is what’s more worrying, because that affects not only the few younger girls today that want to stay home as soft girls,” she says.
