Out of the compelling need to raise children who are intelligent, well-behaved and responsible; most parents have had to adopt several approaches to train their children. Some of those methods include reading to them at bedtime, compelling them to do certain things that can boost their cognitive development, having pets in the house, among other things.
But, unknown to many parents, there are some other measures they adopt that are unfavourable and sometimes have damaging effects on the children, whether at that early age or later in life.
Examples include allowing children to watch television, spanking them, leaving them alone in the house to avoid peer influence or abuse, subjecting them to severe punishment and giving them gifts to encourage them.
To some of these, there are some advantages, but they also have some disadvantages that outweigh whatever benefit they tend to offer.
Notably, in many households, children have access to television both in the living room and in their private room, and for those still in day care centres, television is on for the most part of the day, more so because TV can be a good babysitter when parents and caregivers have other things to do.
However, as helpful as this is, especially given how much delight children take in watching cartoon, wildlife and other channels, experts have warned that it is harmful for children, especially those under age three, to watch TV.
According to them, there is no proof that TV programmes enhance the learning of the children at that age; rather, they said it delays and impairs their verbal intelligence, as they do not see the need to communicate or get a response, both of which could improve their language skills.
This does not imply that it is totally harmful for children to watch TV, no, those who are above three years can occasionally, but in the presence of their parents, care givers or other children whom they can chat with. It was for this reason that the American Academy of Paediatrics sometime ago, advised that children under two years should not watch TV for any reason.
Yes, barring such children from watching TV might seem like a ‘wicked’ decision (in the eyes of the children) and they may even resort to endless cries, but parents who take and stick to such decisions might be helping such children on the long run.
According to a United States-based neurologist, David Perlmutter, when children watch television, they are not in other fundamentally important (creative thinking) activities needed for their cognitive and social development, more so that the brains of infants, toddlers and preschoolers are naturally programmed to develop “most effectively” at that age.
Talk of their mental development, physical development and, most importantly, social development, all of which are achieved through their interaction with other people, including their parents, caregivers and other children.
He said the harmful effect of allowing them watch TV may be indirect, but, children are expected to start learning the fundamentals of language at that age and it is achieved primarily through verbal interactions, whereas the child would have been denied that through his or her (addictive) involvement with television.
Perlmutter, who is also a researcher, said such children are denied of the time to engage in creative and imaginative activities, which could discourage reading. He explained that while television advertising could increase such children’s demand for material possessions, their exposure to violence on the TV could make them aggressive and affect their sleep.
He said, “The most important issue with reference to children watching television is that the passive act of watching television displaces other activities in which the child could have been participating, and what is being fed into a child’s brain when watching television requires very little thought and does not allow any room for development of alternative understanding.
“Language development also suffers in children who watch television. To learn the appropriate usage of language, the child must experience appropriate responses from those around him during his attempts to use language. Children learn language by modifying their understanding based upon the responses they receive and even the corrections offered. Television does not provide this important feedback.
“The important development of social skills, understanding the consequences of one’s actions, learning to vary one’s behaviour in response to particular social experiences, are limited in the child who spends time watching television. There is no feedback from the television with respect to a child’s behaviour leading to compromise of the so-called ‘emotional quotient’.”
Also, a study by some researchers from Tohoku University in Sendai, Japan, also showed that watching too much of TV could change the structure of a child’s brain in a way that is damaging. They found that the more the child watches TV, the higher the damage, with greater impact on their verbal intelligence.
Meanwhile, apart from limiting how much they watch TV, experts have equally warned that spanking could make children become liars, as they try to avoid being punished, it could impact on their mental health, make them less intelligent as it could put them in a state of fear and reduce their ability to learn. According to the experts, if such corporal punishment persists, it could make the child defiant and aggressive.
A professor of sociology, Dr. Murray Straus, said, “Being slapped or spanked is a frightening and threatening event that children experience as highly stressful. Fright and stress can result in cognitive deficits. All parents want smart children. Research shows that avoiding spanking and correcting wrong behaviour in other ways can help, so the more the spanking, the slower the development of the child’s mental ability.”
Furthermore, it has been found that rewarding children with gifts could make them materialistic. For good and obvious reasons, parents love to do this to encourage their children, but experts have advised against such an idea, saying compensating children for a good performance could impair their judgement of self and how they measure success.
Thus, parents have been advised to shun the idea, or do it moderately, or praise the efforts, good habits and behaviours that can lead to excellent result rather than praising the result itself.
Dr. Marsha Richins of the University of Missouri and Dr. Nguyen Chaplin of the University of Illinois at Chicago, both in the United States, in their study published on Mail Online, said parents should be cautious of the kind of reward system they give their children because it can pave the way for such children to grow up to admire people with expensive possessions and judge success by the kinds of things people own.
They said such could also make such children depressed and discontented with life because their inability to have certain material needs, which they tend to see as the measure of their success, could put them under self-inflicted pressure and make them unhappy.
In the view of a consultant paediatrician, Dr. Rotimi Adesanya, parents need to be conversant with modern ways of training children, especially in this century when children are exposed to gadgets like TV and other technological innovations, stressing that parents need to monitor their children’s exposure to such.
“We cannot really say they should not be exposed to television in this age, because technology has overtaken events and because of that, children can be allowed to watch it. The only clause there is parental guidance.
Speaking about spanking of children, he said such had become a way of correcting children in this part of the world, and that it works.
He said, “On spanking, some don’t believe in it while some others believe in it, and those who believe in it note that the Bible even supports that parents should not spare the rod so that the child would not be wayward. So, in our own cultural setting, spanking tends to correct children more, but it has to be moderate.
“Some studies have shown that children who were corrected by spanking tend to do better than those who were corrected by mere mouth, especially at that tender age. Once children are spanked, they realise that what they did was wrong and they might refrain from doing it again. But if it’s by words of mouth, children of these days, especially in this century, may not comport themselves.”
He also said that rewarding children works. He noted that it is one of the approaches to stop children from bedwetting. “They tend to be able to control that act than those who were not rewarded. In this case, spanking may not work, but reward system does,” he said.
Adesanya advised that parents should ensure that their children aged two and above have not less than nine hours of sleep a day. “That’s the least, so it can be more. This is because during sleep, growth hormones are released and they need it for growth,” he added.
He also advised that children should have siesta, say between 1pm and 3pm every day so their brain can be refreshed and their energy restored.
Beyond these, nutrition also plays a role in raising children. Adesanya said children should eat more of fruits and vegetables and that parents should reduce the amount of sugary items they give their children, especially refined sugar and chocolate, to reduce the incidence of childhood obesity that could predispose them to diabetes and arthritis.
“We advise plenty of fruits and vegetables because they contain vitamins that help the cells of their body to regenerate and protect them from diseases,” he added.
