If you’re a smart person, then you probably know a thing or two about the benefits of having a backup plan. After all, things don’t always go as planned and it’s always nice to have a Plan B on hand if Plan A ever goes awry.
While backup plans are always great to have, it can be a little cruel when it comes to relationships – especially if you’re the one being treated as the backup AKA side chick. No one wants to spend a lot of time and create a huge emotional investment in something that is purely made of thin air.
However, when friends tell you that he is just stringing you along and keeping you on the backburner, you don’t really want to believe it. The truth is, most of us are blinded by the fact that we really do like the guy, so we’re willing to gratefully pick up the crumbs he’s leaving for us.
13 signs that you are the side chick
But while you won’t listen to your friends, you may have wondered at one point or another if you really are a side chick.
If you want to know for yourself, then read up on these signs to know if you’re his side chick and see just how far down you are on his dating and commitment leader board.
#1 In his own terms. You ask him to define your relationship in the most subtle way you can, because heaven forbid you scare him off with your questions! and all he says is that he’s not ready.
The thing with someone who keeps you as a side chick is that they want things on their own terms without any regard for how you feel about it.
So, if he just wants to have you around and have sex with you, he will never consider you his woman.
#2 It’s only words. He emails you, Snapchats you, and goes through all of the social media motions of showing his interest in you, but he never really makes time to hang out with you.
In fact, he never really does the things he says he’ll do, like take you to dinner or be available when you ask him to hang out. Chances are, he’s just trolling because he’s bored and you’re an easy target.
#3 Facebook official. NOT. Much like the first two signs, he doesn’t really want to define the relationship with you or with the public, for that matter.
So even if you are romantically involved, he will not change his Facebook relationship status and when you ask him about it, he says that “I don’t want people all in my business.”
These days, your social media status is the gold standard of relationship definition, so if he refuses to change it from “Single” to “In a Relationship” with you, then he just doesn’t want any commitment with you.
#4 Last minute tango . The thing with you being a side chick is that he knows you’re always available for him.
You may often drop everything on your plate when he calls you up for a last minute “date.” Therefore, he knows that when his main girl is mad at him, or that ex he clearly still has feelings for doesn’t want to go out with him, he can call you up last minute.
After all, he already made a reservation and is wearing his best suit.
#5 Convenience in store. He comes in and out of your life at his own convenience. One minute he’ll call you up just for reassurance that you have feelings for him, but he will not share his feelings for you.
Then, he’ll disappear and be unavailable for a while. He will not answer your calls or text you back – that is, until he wants something from you again.
#6 Can’t move on. If you’re his ex, he still keeps you around, which makes you feel in a total limbo as to what you really mean to him.
After breaking up with you, he still calls you up and talks to you like he used to do when you were together, but you know he is out on the prowl for a new girlfriend, especially when he tells you about this new girl he’s seeing.
#7 Holiday cheer for one. You spend your holidays alone, and each time you try to hint that he should spend a few holidays with you, he always says he has other plans in mind.
Worse, you prepare that humongous Thanksgiving turkey, only to be stood up. Guess what – he probably has his Plan A having dinner with his family right at that moment.
#8 Let’s see. After going out for a while, he now has you wrapped around his fingers. And whenever you make any move to talk about any future with him, you always hear “Let’s see” from him, along with phrases like, “Let’s just enjoy the moment,” “Let’s see where this goes,” or “We never know what will happen…”
#9 Ticking time bomb. You find yourself counting the hours and days to when he will ask you out again, come over, communicate, or just be ready to be in a real relationship with you.
You ask yourself, “What’s going on?” and you wonder if you’re just wasting time. When you start thinking about this, you probably are, because let’s face it one of these days, he’ll find someone he really likes more than you.
